Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
