i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
