trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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