i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
