unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
