I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
