If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize