Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
