Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
