Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Randomize
