Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry catalyst hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

After last night, I could never be a politician.

Fav 11 1600 735
share tweet
(845): View more from New York

I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.

Fav 11 1361 2243
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"

Fav 19 930 2128
share tweet
(419): View more from Ohio

Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico

Fav 18 7590 1397
share tweet
(901): View more from Tennessee

Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.

Fav 29 4732 3818
share tweet
(925): View more from California

I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible

Fav 16 4536 1402
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(336): View more from North Carolina

he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.

Fav 3 3673 1281
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(732): View more from New Jersey

Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy

Fav 5 580 1104
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.

Fav 0 62 17
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT