What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
