I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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