Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
