piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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