If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
