I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
