I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
