Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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