That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
