Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
foreskin is a definite game changer
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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