That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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