I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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