Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
