She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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