i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
