Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
