Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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