sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It's blow job season.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
