I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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