Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
