He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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