Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
