Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
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Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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