All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
