Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
