Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
