I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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