I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He shit in the fireplace
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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