Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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