Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
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