drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize