the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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