so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
i believe in u and ur pee
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
