VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
