he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
