I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize