ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
