laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
