So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
