It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
