I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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