Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
