Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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