so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
