I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
