the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
