Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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