drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
zippers are such a cool invention
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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