Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
